Hanging by a Moment
by LittleWing
Summary: Nick's thoughts after Derek's death


Disclaimer: I don't own them, and I make no money. I just enjoy writing.  
  
Notes: This is it. There are no new chapters to this one. Short I know, but I hope you enjoy it  
anyway.  
  
Rating: G  
  
Title: Hanging by a Moment  
  
Author: Little Wing  
Still and silent, Nick Boyle stared at the ocean as it lapped at the rocky coast of the cliffs on  
Angel Island. His hazel green eyes watched carefully as the water foamed with every wave that  
touched the shore. Slowly he turned his attention to the dark waters that stretched out before him.  
More than once he thought of his life as being similar to that of the ocean, and many more times  
he wished he could leave it all behind and move on.  
  
He smiled as he thought about how many times he'd thought of throwing himself from these very  
cliffs as teen. That was before his father died. He almost did throw himself off after Jimmy left.  
When Jimmy left was when the old man turned his full attention to Nick. He was nearly laughing  
at the memory of Derek finding him staring at the ocean, much like he was now. It was Derek  
who had made him see that life was worth living and that he would be needed someday.  
  
Despite the smile upon his pale pink lips, his eyes gave way to the scars that he kept hidden from  
everyone, including himself. The light green of his hazel eyes told of the hurt that he'd endured in  
his thirty five years. The abuse that his father inflicted upon him coupled with how strong he had  
become in order to prove to his father, though he was long dead, just how tough he was. He  
became a Navy Seal to prove to his father, to himself, that he was nothing like his old man. But  
when that was over he once again ran into Derek Raynes. He went to work for the same man that  
his father had worked with. The same man who had found him at the cliff side almost twenty  
years before.  
  
"Derek," he whispered against the wind. His hand held Derek's precept ring tightly in the palm.  
Nick could feel the outline of the ring begin to form on his palm. Nothing he did would bring  
Derek back.   
  
Nick wished that he could have had the same opportunity Derek had all those years ago. Deep  
inside he wished that he could turn the hands of time and save Derek's life, or chosen to end his  
all those years ago. Though he knew that his life did impact others, he just did not want all the  
pain he had to put up with to become the man that he did. He did not have to loose Julia, the only  
person he ever really let get inside. The only one who he trusted without question or reservation.  
He did not need to live with the fact that his entire platoon was killed behind him.  
  
"There is so much to live for, young man." He could still hear Derek's words from the chance  
encounter the two had when Nick was all of fourteen years old. "You may be needed someday.  
Are you really sure that you want to jump?"  
  
"So what if I do? You gonna miss me?" He was such a smart ass. Even when he was a kid. His  
mouth had gotten him into more trouble than it had gotten him out of.  
  
Looking back he was glad that he had not jumped back then. And he was glad that Derek had  
stopped him from jumping a second time. He had almost jumped after Julia was killed on their trip  
to Ireland. But that time was the third that Nick had attempted to fling himself from a cliff. In  
Ireland, Philip, the only man he could call brother, found him at cliffs edge in a near by abbey. He  
and Philip sealed their friendship that night.   
  
"You're not thinking of jumping, are you?" a horse female voice asked, pulling Nick from his  
reverie.  
  
"No." He let out a small laugh. "Not anymore."  
  
"I was gonna say that if you jump I probably wouldn't be very far behind." She tucked her  
moderately long blond locks behind her ears. Her eyes scanning the twilight sky.  
  
"Derek told me once that life was worth living and that I would be important to people someday."  
Nick never looked at her. He never took his eyes from the ocean.  
  
"Was he right?"   
  
"Yes." He smiled turning away from the cliffs and facing his long time friend and adopted big  
sister, Rachel Corrigan. "He was." 


End file.
